Are you visiting older relatives during the holidays?

The holidays are a time when families traditionally come together and, for many families who are spread out across the country, this might be the first time they have seen elderly parents or other older relatives in a year. It may also be a time when adult children begin to notice changes in their parent’s behaviors or quality of life.

During visits with these loved ones, family members should pay special attention to certain signs that could indicate a loved one needs more help around the house, may need to move to a senior living community or is suffering from depression.

Some questions to ask yourself are:

Is anything different about their appearance? Have they lost weight? Have their personal hygiene habits changed? Are they dressed appropriately?

Observe their physical condition. Can they still walk up and down the stairs or get around the house? Can they grocery shop and prepare their own meals? Do they remember to take their medications? Can they bathe and use the bathroom without any help?

Also, look around the house. Do you see mail that is unopened or bills that have not been paid? Or prescriptions that have not been refilled? Is the house in disarray or disrepair? Stacks of newspapers piling up around the house?

Do you notice any changes in their mental condition? Are they still connected to others? Do they continue to participate in activities that they have always enjoyed?

Depending on what you see during your visit, it may be time to assess your loved one's living situation and think about getting them the appropriate help.

Families should also keep an eye out for signs of depression in older adults, especially in those who have recently suffered with health problems, the loss of a loved one or the loss of their social networks. Symptoms of depression can include marked changes in appetite, difficulty sleeping, feelings of guilt or hopelessness, loss of self-esteem, crying for no reason, social withdrawal and even an increase in physical aches and pains.

Older adults with depression are also more likely to be anxious, irritable or worried. Constantly wringing their hands, pacing the room or worrying obsessively about money or their health can also be signs of depression.

According to the American Psychological Association, an estimated 20 percent of older adults suffer from depression. Depression is not a normal part of aging, so if you sense that your older loved one may be depressed, give them support and get them the help that they need.

For more information about senior living options or the type of care given at retirement or assisted living communities, please call Morningside Ministries at (210) 731-1202.

Volunteering in a senior community can be rewarding for you and the residents

Everyday, people of all ages are looking for ways to make a difference in their community and to give back to society. And, increasingly, instead of making monetary donations, people are looking for ways to give of their time. Volunteering in a senior care community is a very enriching and rewarding experience – not just for the seniors, but also for the people who volunteer. Many times, people can shy away from volunteering in nursing homes because they think they do not have anything to offer. But everyone does have something to offer – even if you don’t consider yourself talented.

Volunteering can take many forms: reading the newspaper or books to residents who cannot see, playing a musical instrument or singing for a group of residents, leading an exercise class, calling bingo, facilitating an arts and crafts project, teaching a basic computer class or a Spanish lesson, running errands or personal shopping for residents, giving manicures, playing table games, writing letters, making welcome baskets, taking residents outside or more simply making one-on-one in-room visits. During these visits, residents may want to talk or may want to just listen to someone tell them about what is going on in the world today. They may just need a small touch on the arm or a loving smile.

For the volunteer, helping out in a senior care community can provide you with an incredible sense of fulfillment and purpose and an outlet for your knowledge, talent and abilities. You can enrich the life of an older adult and at the same time learn new skills, obtain unique life experiences and meet a diverse range of people that have lived long and storied lives. You can get a better understanding of the history and development of your community and the people who cultivated it.

Volunteering in a senior care community is simple and can take as little time as one hour a month or just on holiday occasions to as many hours as your heart desires. There is no right or wrong way. But your gift of time can make a huge difference in the life of an older adult. And in your life as well.

Preparing for life after 65

Mr. and Mrs. Smith knew they needed to start planning for their retirement, but there was never enough time or enough money. At 75, there was no money left, their health was failing and they were afraid to ask their children for help. They waited too long to have the tough conversations, and their options shrunk significantly.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith could be anyone, but a little planning can help everyone weather the financial, emotional and health challenges associated with old age.

Nearly 37.3 million Americans were 65 years or older in 2006. By 2030, that number will double to 71.5 million people, representing more than 20 percent of the U.S. population, according to the Department of Health and Human Services Administration on Aging. In Texas, nearly 4 million of us will be over 65 years old in 2020, according to a Texas State Data Center projection.

As the president of Morningside Ministries, which includes several senior living communities around San Antonio and the Hill Country, I am acutely aware that too many people in our society simply do not want to deal with issues related to aging. We need to begin to see aging as a positive life progression.

This starts with conversations and interaction at the family level. It’s often easier for parents to start by telling family members what they want to happen as they grow older.

Parents, you can help your children by defining what’s important to you. For example, it’s important for your family to know what your financial capabilities are for long-term care. Family members need to know whether you have the means of caring for yourself or if alternative funding and living arrangements need to be found. Retirement planning is critical to financial stability, and long-term care insurance is an option for people to consider in their 40s and 50s, when the insurance is more affordable and accessible.

Logistical elements, such as preparing wills, durable powers of attorney, health care directives, organ donation agreements and identifying funeral preferences are all tough conversations but are better held while all parties in the family can discuss and be heard. These documents can also be prepared at any age and changed when necessary.

All family members need to be aware of family dynamics. There is often disagreement within families and among siblings about the best course of action to take. If your parent or grandparent is still cognitively able to make decisions, then let them. It’s easier to come together as a family before mom, dad, grandma or grandpa no longer can make their own decisions.

Anyone over the age of 30 has probably been told, “Eat less. Exercise more,” and to prepare for life beyond 65, this can’t be stated enough. Regular exercise not only prevents injuries and helps a person’s overall physical health; the mental and social benefits of exercise are enormous. Heart health, flexibility and strength are all important, so whether it’s yoga, tennis, bowling, swimming, running or any other exercise, your goal is to move and move often.

Maintaining a positive attitude never hurts as we get older. Studies have shown that positive thoughts can add as much as 7.5 years to your life. And, part of positive thinking is maintaining a strong social circle. People who participate in regular social gatherings and maintain close friendships have a much higher quality of life whether they live to 66 or 106.

As a society, we also need to encourage children to play a more active role in the lives of senior adults. Intergenerational activities allow children the opportunity to get comfortable being around older people and to develop wonderful relationships.

Taking proper measures and having these tough conversations before it’s too late, when choices are limited regarding appropriate care, allows everyone peace of mind and the opportunity to enjoy life. With a little preparation, the aging process can be a seamless and beautiful experience.

Alvin Loewenberg, President/CEO, Morningside Ministries

Celebrate Grandparents this Sunday!

by Jennifer Van Cleave, Director of Communications for Morningside Ministries

This coming Sunday, September 13, 2009, marks the 30th official observance of Grandparent's Day in the United States. Signed into law by President Jimmy Carter in the 1970s, it is a day to "honor grandparents, to give grandparents an opportunity to show love for their children's children and to help children become aware of the strength and guidance that older people can offer."

Sunday provides a great opportunity to take a little time and help your children honor their grandparents and other older adults in their life. Help them write a note, color a picture or call them. Family celebrations are also a great way to mark the occasion. Help grandma and grandpa date or label photos in their photo albums or put together a family tree. Both of these activities allow seniors to tell their stories and relive their past and also familiarizes young people with their ancestral lines and family history.

Grandparent's Day is also an opportunity to visit older adults who live in nursing homes or assisted living communities. People often visit seniors in nursing communities around the holidays and Christmas time but not during any other time of the year. The stories and wisdom that many of these adults have to offer are invaluable. You never know who you are going to meet or what you will learn when you walk through the front door. Centenarians, veterans, artists, musicians, former businessmen, politicians, missionaries, big band performers, professional athletes and rocket scientists. People who fought for women's rights, equality and the freedom of our country, who experienced the Great Depression and the rebirth of our nation. People who have shaped our country and the way we live today. People with wisdom and guidance to pass on to the younger generations. It is important for children and young adults to recognize and honor that.