Ageless Love!

Last week, we had the honor of hosting a wedding of two residents at The Meadows Retirement Community. It doesn’t happen often but it is always an exceptionally happy and inspiring occasion. And the Hollar wedding was no exception . . .

Claire Dawson (84) and Homer Hollar (86) met less than a year ago at The Meadows’ Bridge Club. Homer began to walk Claire back to her apartment after the games and they began attending other activities together. He noticed her in the dining room ­ – how she would always help several other ladies who are in wheelchairs get seated and get their salads from the salad bar. He knew then that she was a terrific lady.

So, Homer began to seek advice on how to get better acquainted with Claire. He turned to an old classic movie, Sleepless in Seattle, to figure out how to get one-on-one time with Claire. In the movie, Tom Hanks invited a lady he was interested in back to his house to look at swatches. To his dismay, Homer didn’t have “swatches” but he now had a plan. He knew how to dance. And since Oktoberfest was coming up, and he intended to ask Claire to dance at Oktoberfest, he invited her over to his apartment for dance lessons. She agreed and after that first dance lesson in Homer’s apartment, they were officially a couple.

By December they knew they would be married. And on January 8, 2010 they made the official announcement and began planning their wedding – which was 3 weeks away! The couple decided to have both the ceremony and the reception at The Meadows because it is their home. They both love it there and have many friends there. So, staff at The Meadows kicked into high gear and began planning all the details of the ceremony and reception for them.

On January 29^th, the couple was married in front of a small group of family and close friends. Homer’s son flew in from Hungary and his daughter and son-in-law came from Honduras. Grandchildren from Michigan and Austin were also present to celebrate the happy occasion. The ceremony was officiated by Rev. Harris Shinn, a fellow resident at The Meadows. In a flowing periwinkle dress with a small bouquet of pink and white flowers, Claire walked down the aisle with her son-in-law and met her groom at the altar. With their children attending, the couple happily exchanged vows during the intimate ceremony.

After a few photos, the bride & groom joined wedding guests and fellow residents for a reception in the Atrium area at The Meadows. They enjoyed cake and toasted with champagne and then they kicked up their heels for some dancing.

As they celebrate their first Valentine’s Day together, the happy couple says it feels so nice to be married and to not feel lonely anymore. So congratulations to Homer & Claire and best wishes on many years of happiness!

Understanding Your Senior Living Options

The holiday season was a time for most of us to spend happy moments together with family and friends, whether staying close to home or traveling far away. It was also a time when many adult children were confronted with the challenges their elder parents or family members are now facing and the idea that they may not be able to live alone anymore or without some sort of assistance.

Now that the holidays are over and a new year is settling in, many are wondering what to do or where to go to get family members the help they need. Every January sees an increase in calls from concerned family members about their loved ones here at Morningside Ministries. Many of them are just looking for help and don’t know where to turn.

Continuing care retirement communities are a great solution for many of today’s seniors. In a continuing care setting, many living options are offered on one campus, including independent living apartments or cottages, assisted living, nursing care, rehabilitation and memory care services.

It is, however, important to understand the different options when it comes to senior living and to make an informed decision for you or your loved one.

Independent Living covers a range of housing styles, from active adult apartments to individual homes that are designed for those who are able to care for themselves. An independent living lifestyle offers services such as social activities, chef-prepared meals, fitness programs, transportation and housekeeping. Specific amenities vary from community to community, and may include a clubhouse, library, activity and craft rooms, chapel, fitness center, walking trails and swimming pool. Independent living does not offer health care services and is not state-licensed or regulated. Most communities offer apartments on a rental basis, but some communities offer apartments for purchase, like a condominium.

Assisted Living is a state-licensed program within a community setting that offers assistance with the activities of daily living, such as bathing, dressing and medication management. Services provided in assisted living usually include meals, laundry, housekeeping, activities and outings. Assisted living is designed for people who can no longer live independently in a private residence but do not need the 24-hour medical care provided in a nursing home setting.

A nursing care center is licensed by the state and provides services and rehabilitation to people with illnesses, injuries, functional and physical disabilities or cognitive impairments who require around-the-clock care. In the United States, nursing homes are required to have a licensed nurse on duty 24-hours a day. Most nursing homes offer services and staff to care for a resident’s every need including nutrition, activities, pastoral care, care planning and medical needs. Nursing care can be paid for in a number of ways: private pay by the resident or family; long-term-care insurance; Medicare or Medicaid.

Memory Care can be provided in an assisted living or nursing care setting and assists individuals who are experiencing memory loss, a decline in ability to perform routine tasks, impaired judgment and disorientation. Staff is specially trained to meet the specific needs of those with Alzheimer’s disease or other dementias.

Are you visiting older relatives during the holidays?

The holidays are a time when families traditionally come together and, for many families who are spread out across the country, this might be the first time they have seen elderly parents or other older relatives in a year. It may also be a time when adult children begin to notice changes in their parent’s behaviors or quality of life.

During visits with these loved ones, family members should pay special attention to certain signs that could indicate a loved one needs more help around the house, may need to move to a senior living community or is suffering from depression.

Some questions to ask yourself are:

Is anything different about their appearance? Have they lost weight? Have their personal hygiene habits changed? Are they dressed appropriately?

Observe their physical condition. Can they still walk up and down the stairs or get around the house? Can they grocery shop and prepare their own meals? Do they remember to take their medications? Can they bathe and use the bathroom without any help?

Also, look around the house. Do you see mail that is unopened or bills that have not been paid? Or prescriptions that have not been refilled? Is the house in disarray or disrepair? Stacks of newspapers piling up around the house?

Do you notice any changes in their mental condition? Are they still connected to others? Do they continue to participate in activities that they have always enjoyed?

Depending on what you see during your visit, it may be time to assess your loved one's living situation and think about getting them the appropriate help.

Families should also keep an eye out for signs of depression in older adults, especially in those who have recently suffered with health problems, the loss of a loved one or the loss of their social networks. Symptoms of depression can include marked changes in appetite, difficulty sleeping, feelings of guilt or hopelessness, loss of self-esteem, crying for no reason, social withdrawal and even an increase in physical aches and pains.

Older adults with depression are also more likely to be anxious, irritable or worried. Constantly wringing their hands, pacing the room or worrying obsessively about money or their health can also be signs of depression.

According to the American Psychological Association, an estimated 20 percent of older adults suffer from depression. Depression is not a normal part of aging, so if you sense that your older loved one may be depressed, give them support and get them the help that they need.

For more information about senior living options or the type of care given at retirement or assisted living communities, please call Morningside Ministries at (210) 731-1202.

The Inside Scoop . . .

What a joy it is to be around the staff who, one by one, understands how important autonomy becomes for those of us living in a “retirement setting.”

I appreciate everyone who classifies each one of us octogenarians as capable, talented, creative humans (even though legs, ears or eyes maybe less functioning than those around us to plan and execute the activities offered).

Especially sensitive for me are those who teach, handle the foods, repair malfunctions and provide security service. It would be disastrous to mention names because there are so many who boost my morale as an individual. They radiate acceptance and love daily.

Many Thanks!

Helen Edkins

Will Medicare pay for my care?

If you ever need nursing home care, will Medicare pay for it? Well, maybe, but maybe not.

Contrary to what many people believe, their Medicare coverage will not pay for their long-term care needs. And chances are good that you will need some assistance during your lifetime. According to a recent Business Week article, 65% of people over the age of 75 need long-term care and, with an aging population, that number will continue to climb.

Generally, Medicare will pay for care in a skilled nursing community if it is medically necessary and you have met certain conditions that they have set out. Medicare will cover a short-term nursing stay for rehabilitation from an injury or illness, but only following a three-night hospital stay. A rehabilitation stay is covered in full for up to 20 days. After 20 days, if the need for skilled care continues, the resident will be required to pay a co-insurance, which is the amount uncovered by Medicare from days 21 – 100. Many Medicare supplements pay the co-insurance amount.

Medicare does not, however, provide coverage for services in assisted living communities. Assistance with the activities of daily living, such as bathing, dressing, grooming, medication management and using the bathroom are not considered “skilled” services and are not covered under Medicare. Assisted living communities typically only accept private pay and long-term care insurance.

So if Medicare will not pay for your needs, will Medicaid? Once again, the answer is maybe. Medicaid is a joint state and federal government program that pays for long-term care services for older adults with low incomes and limited assets. But, to qualify, you must exhaust all your assets and virtually all of your income. Medicaid recipients must have less than $2,000 in assets. To qualify for long-term care nursing home Medicaid, you must meet “medical necessity,” which basically states that you require 24-hour nursing care supervision. Because the number of applications for Medicaid has increased exponentially over the past few years, states are increasingly making it more difficult to receive Medicaid funding.

According to the U. S. Health Care Financing Administration, about 40% of long-term care bills are paid for by Medicaid and 18% are paid by Medicare. That leaves 42% of all long-term care bills to individuals and families to pay out of their own pocket or to insurers to pay.

Volunteering in a senior community can be rewarding for you and the residents

Everyday, people of all ages are looking for ways to make a difference in their community and to give back to society. And, increasingly, instead of making monetary donations, people are looking for ways to give of their time. Volunteering in a senior care community is a very enriching and rewarding experience – not just for the seniors, but also for the people who volunteer. Many times, people can shy away from volunteering in nursing homes because they think they do not have anything to offer. But everyone does have something to offer – even if you don’t consider yourself talented.

Volunteering can take many forms: reading the newspaper or books to residents who cannot see, playing a musical instrument or singing for a group of residents, leading an exercise class, calling bingo, facilitating an arts and crafts project, teaching a basic computer class or a Spanish lesson, running errands or personal shopping for residents, giving manicures, playing table games, writing letters, making welcome baskets, taking residents outside or more simply making one-on-one in-room visits. During these visits, residents may want to talk or may want to just listen to someone tell them about what is going on in the world today. They may just need a small touch on the arm or a loving smile.

For the volunteer, helping out in a senior care community can provide you with an incredible sense of fulfillment and purpose and an outlet for your knowledge, talent and abilities. You can enrich the life of an older adult and at the same time learn new skills, obtain unique life experiences and meet a diverse range of people that have lived long and storied lives. You can get a better understanding of the history and development of your community and the people who cultivated it.

Volunteering in a senior care community is simple and can take as little time as one hour a month or just on holiday occasions to as many hours as your heart desires. There is no right or wrong way. But your gift of time can make a huge difference in the life of an older adult. And in your life as well.

Preparing for life after 65

Mr. and Mrs. Smith knew they needed to start planning for their retirement, but there was never enough time or enough money. At 75, there was no money left, their health was failing and they were afraid to ask their children for help. They waited too long to have the tough conversations, and their options shrunk significantly.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith could be anyone, but a little planning can help everyone weather the financial, emotional and health challenges associated with old age.

Nearly 37.3 million Americans were 65 years or older in 2006. By 2030, that number will double to 71.5 million people, representing more than 20 percent of the U.S. population, according to the Department of Health and Human Services Administration on Aging. In Texas, nearly 4 million of us will be over 65 years old in 2020, according to a Texas State Data Center projection.

As the president of Morningside Ministries, which includes several senior living communities around San Antonio and the Hill Country, I am acutely aware that too many people in our society simply do not want to deal with issues related to aging. We need to begin to see aging as a positive life progression.

This starts with conversations and interaction at the family level. It’s often easier for parents to start by telling family members what they want to happen as they grow older.

Parents, you can help your children by defining what’s important to you. For example, it’s important for your family to know what your financial capabilities are for long-term care. Family members need to know whether you have the means of caring for yourself or if alternative funding and living arrangements need to be found. Retirement planning is critical to financial stability, and long-term care insurance is an option for people to consider in their 40s and 50s, when the insurance is more affordable and accessible.

Logistical elements, such as preparing wills, durable powers of attorney, health care directives, organ donation agreements and identifying funeral preferences are all tough conversations but are better held while all parties in the family can discuss and be heard. These documents can also be prepared at any age and changed when necessary.

All family members need to be aware of family dynamics. There is often disagreement within families and among siblings about the best course of action to take. If your parent or grandparent is still cognitively able to make decisions, then let them. It’s easier to come together as a family before mom, dad, grandma or grandpa no longer can make their own decisions.

Anyone over the age of 30 has probably been told, “Eat less. Exercise more,” and to prepare for life beyond 65, this can’t be stated enough. Regular exercise not only prevents injuries and helps a person’s overall physical health; the mental and social benefits of exercise are enormous. Heart health, flexibility and strength are all important, so whether it’s yoga, tennis, bowling, swimming, running or any other exercise, your goal is to move and move often.

Maintaining a positive attitude never hurts as we get older. Studies have shown that positive thoughts can add as much as 7.5 years to your life. And, part of positive thinking is maintaining a strong social circle. People who participate in regular social gatherings and maintain close friendships have a much higher quality of life whether they live to 66 or 106.

As a society, we also need to encourage children to play a more active role in the lives of senior adults. Intergenerational activities allow children the opportunity to get comfortable being around older people and to develop wonderful relationships.

Taking proper measures and having these tough conversations before it’s too late, when choices are limited regarding appropriate care, allows everyone peace of mind and the opportunity to enjoy life. With a little preparation, the aging process can be a seamless and beautiful experience.

Alvin Loewenberg, President/CEO, Morningside Ministries