Mr. and Mrs. Smith knew they needed to start planning for their retirement, but there was never enough time or enough money. At 75, there was no money left, their health was failing and they were afraid to ask their children for help. They waited too long to have the tough conversations, and their options shrunk significantly.
Mr. and Mrs. Smith could be anyone, but a little planning can help everyone weather the financial, emotional and health challenges associated with old age.
Nearly 37.3 million Americans were 65 years or older in 2006. By 2030, that number will double to 71.5 million people, representing more than 20 percent of the U.S. population, according to the Department of Health and Human Services Administration on Aging. In Texas, nearly 4 million of us will be over 65 years old in 2020, according to a Texas State Data Center projection.
As the president of Morningside Ministries, which includes several senior living communities around San Antonio and the Hill Country, I am acutely aware that too many people in our society simply do not want to deal with issues related to aging. We need to begin to see aging as a positive life progression.
This starts with conversations and interaction at the family level. It’s often easier for parents to start by telling family members what they want to happen as they grow older.
Parents, you can help your children by defining what’s important to you. For example, it’s important for your family to know what your financial capabilities are for long-term care. Family members need to know whether you have the means of caring for yourself or if alternative funding and living arrangements need to be found. Retirement planning is critical to financial stability, and long-term care insurance is an option for people to consider in their 40s and 50s, when the insurance is more affordable and accessible.
Logistical elements, such as preparing wills, durable powers of attorney, health care directives, organ donation agreements and identifying funeral preferences are all tough conversations but are better held while all parties in the family can discuss and be heard. These documents can also be prepared at any age and changed when necessary.
All family members need to be aware of family dynamics. There is often disagreement within families and among siblings about the best course of action to take. If your parent or grandparent is still cognitively able to make decisions, then let them. It’s easier to come together as a family before mom, dad, grandma or grandpa no longer can make their own decisions.
Anyone over the age of 30 has probably been told, “Eat less. Exercise more,” and to prepare for life beyond 65, this can’t be stated enough. Regular exercise not only prevents injuries and helps a person’s overall physical health; the mental and social benefits of exercise are enormous. Heart health, flexibility and strength are all important, so whether it’s yoga, tennis, bowling, swimming, running or any other exercise, your goal is to move and move often.
Maintaining a positive attitude never hurts as we get older. Studies have shown that positive thoughts can add as much as 7.5 years to your life. And, part of positive thinking is maintaining a strong social circle. People who participate in regular social gatherings and maintain close friendships have a much higher quality of life whether they live to 66 or 106.
As a society, we also need to encourage children to play a more active role in the lives of senior adults. Intergenerational activities allow children the opportunity to get comfortable being around older people and to develop wonderful relationships.
Taking proper measures and having these tough conversations before it’s too late, when choices are limited regarding appropriate care, allows everyone peace of mind and the opportunity to enjoy life. With a little preparation, the aging process can be a seamless and beautiful experience.
Alvin Loewenberg, President/CEO, Morningside Ministries
